Lessons from my sangha

It’s been two and a half weeks since I returned home from Bhutan.  I have fully reengaged in my Washington life.  And yet, the lessons from my sangha are still making their way into my consciousness.

While in Bhutan, I found myself craving more.  More direction, more guidance, more exploration through organized activity.  Meanwhile, the rest of the group commented on how much we were already doing.  I felt otherwise—I wanted to pack as much into those two weeks as the hours of each day would allow. 

One night, Atum (our subtly magnificent teacher) reminded us that we were witnessing huge archetypal images every day, absorbing them through our 'crown chakra,' and receiving lessons that we may not yet be aware of.  It was true.  I did not realize how much we were already processing—so much was our activity on a different dimension.

Now, weeks later, the lessons are materializing as potent thoughts.  Concepts and ideas so strong that I have to pause in daily activity to consider them.   Though nascent at the moment, these are lessons that I will surely contemplate for the rest of my life.

Judgment.

It’s a waste of time.  We never know what causes someone to act a certain way, look a certain way, or think a certain way.  Our only basis of comparison is ourselves—by no means a perfect standard.  Each of us is influenced by different factors, causing us to act in different ways.  Such distinction is an opportunity for learning, not judging. 

Of course, releasing judgment is no easy endeavor.  It is, after all, interlaced in the fabric of our Western culture (and probably some Eastern ones too); and it is a defining parameter of our social interaction, especially in a world ruled by competition and politics.  But with every judgment passed comes an opportunity to reflect on its origin and, in turn, to release it.  It occurs to me that such release offers great freedom. 

Let me be clear: I am a loooong way from mastering this technique. But I have set the intention to be mindful of judgment, to be conscious of its presence in my life.  And I’m not one to waste time.

Answers.

I was raised an Episcopalian.  I loved this part of my identity.  It was the best of all worlds: Southern in tradition, progressive in society, and worldly in vision.  I can recite the Nicene Creed from memory, and I enthusiastically admit that my heart flutters when the organ plays certain familiar hymns.  In the past two years, I have treasured my Sunday mornings at the National Cathedral in Washington—a glorious monument of organized religion and the community it provides. 

But in Bhutan, something shifted.   Buddha teaches us that in order to find answers—the kind we often seek through religion—we should not look outward, but inward.  Through meditation, we can still the mind, discarding layers of vacant distraction deposited by desire, craving and attachment.  One at a time, we pull back the shades—like an exceptional window dressed with several reams of fabric.  Within us there is a Source of answers, and of calm.  We only have to adopt the intention (and patience) to uncover it.

After years of offering questions, prayers, and gratitude to an external, Holy One, my understanding of The Source has shifted.  I have not abandoned my belief in an external, benevolent force for Good, but I no longer believe that I must depend on such an external Source for my own wisdom, peace and comfort.  It is all within me—so long as I tap into the light covered by layers of musty window drapes.  This is a timely realization, given the new role of anxiety and fear in my otherwise strong, steady existence.  But more on that later…

In “Lessons from my sangha part two,” compassion vs. pity, the role of the ego, and life as suffering (not as scary as it sounds!).

Written from Lima on a hazy day, overlooking the Pacific.